why the hell not?

I can visualize these things that hold me back, I can see shyness, I can see embarassment, I can see fear, I can see nervousness.

But above all else I can see him. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his beautiful face and his beautiful mouth. I try to catch a quick glimpse, capture a fleeting image.

He’s beautiful, the way he talks, the way he laughs, the way he looks

I think we could be good, great even… and I don’t even know him and I don’t approach him and I watch him leave as my heart follows

I wonder why I can’t have him, why I don’t pursue him, why the hell not?