Revitalization's Weblog

For the curious, questioning, and wandering soul

Archive for February, 2008

uh oh uh oh uh oh!?

What do I say, I still feel like I’m really really good at pretending. Uh oh uh oh uh oh!? I want to except, expect, and do the best. I don’t want to settle, for anything, anyone. I want to be so passionate to the point where others simply look at me like I’m insane. I want to find my thing. That thing I live for, that thing that, if I didn’t have and didn’t believe in and didn’t do, I would be simply and utterly ordinary. Wide-eyed, kneeling, looking up, and knowing! that the world is the way it is, will be the way it is. I’m sure of only a few things in my life and in this world. For me, solely me, and not you, I am almost completely sure that killing is wrong, that an awakened and heightened life is what I need to strive for, that this, here, is what I should be doing, and that I’m terrified of dying without meaning, knowing that meaning, oh my GOD, it’s what I totally strive for! For if I knew, hmm…what would be left? Maybe that’s the point…but I feel that living with that understanding would be indescribable, where every decision would be so right… I can’t even freaking imagine it!

 

The drums are beating,

My heart slowly beats along

My mind buzzes, cloudily and fuzzily

Timid wings, quivering fires, guilty bones

A borrowed self

 

Dry your eyes!