Revitalization's Weblog

For the curious, questioning, and wandering soul

Do ugly people find love?

I want to be in love! I love the idea of a boyfriend, of dating, of connecting with someone romantically… I so want it! SO BAD! It seems like everyone around me seems to find guys easily, as if it happens daily, no effort needed, it just happens. Seriously, it just happens for people! I don’t know how… maybe there is some truth in the idea of destiny, but destiny has left me in the dust as you can probably guess by now! Those people who find their soulmates on the subway, or waiting in line at Starbucks! I want that! That would be great, I’m so open to meeting someone randomly, and making a great connection. But, as it happens, it doesn’t. Maybe I’m too shy, too introverted, not confident enough… Maybe it’s hard for me because my self-esteem is pretty low…


Please understand, I’m not saying I want gorgeous men! Model types, who have abs and perfect teeth. I want a caring, funny, and just all-around great guy. In my past… well, there’s just not much boy-attention that I can recall… the only major thing that’s happened was when I went to the Dominican Republic, met a guy, we liked each other, we hung out and flirted, but that’s it. I left, and I’m sure he’s moved on!, Other than that, I have had crushes since elementary school… on SO many guys, too many to count! Ha. I guess had better luck in my younger days than now… I find that very sad…


 I crave so much more, I really want to find someone great. I don’t know how girls do it—those girls who have boyfriends constantly—they seem to fall in their laps.. And I’m not talking about gorgeous girls, but normal girls who have boys, a lot of boys… One of my great friends has had so many guys, has slept with guys both young and old, and has found her soulmate—did I mention we’re the same age?! She’s so lucky, and I’m really jealous of her for that… Maybe it’s my personality, I’ve really changed, and gotten so self-conscious, probably because of the lack of attention from guys. I am always trying to slim down, making myself think that I’ll be more beautiful, confident and outgoing if I’m comfortable with my body. That I’ll be happier once I lose weight, I’ll have more friends, and meet more people… I know it’s all about attitude, but it’s getting harder and harder to make genuine connections with people. I’ve gotten shy, self-conscious, depressed from lack of lovin’ and attention.


So it’s summer now. Lack of excitement, of different people, of LIVING… this summer is seriously sucking! I feel uninspired to do and  to go out,.. It breaks my heart, and this is what I hope to avoid—spending one day of my life wasted.. I seem to be doing that a lot these days… I think about food/calories way too much… and try to go to the gym as often as I can… I have this theory that if I live it right, if I live life right—with confidence, self-esteem, power, awareness, presence, knowledge… etc. then good things WILL happen to me. I’ve heard that when you decide and open yourself to love, love finds you… And so I have to try, step out of my comfort zone (a stifling and suffering little suffocation box of a zone) and really try. I need to realize that every day, the people I meet and the things I can CHOOSE to do will never come back; that if I don’t act, all I’ll be left with is a big ‘ol bucket of regret. I need to take advantage of the people around me, and the people I meet. Above all, I truly desire finding someone… finding LOVE asap! I’ve made this my new goal… so far, no luck.


(Oh- and to all the guys who are reading this! Please know, that shy and not-so-pretty girls also crave attention from you all just as much as the gorgeous bombshell model types. Most girls like to be pursued (like me), so guys, be BOLD, and ask us OUT!)


  hiphopotamus wrote @

i can relate. hah. oh well. i guess all you can do is just live life and try to enjoy it. i trust that all that other stuff will just come naturally. side note.. what you said about your friend having been with a lot of guys and sleeping with them, i’m not sure thats something to be jealous of. to me it sounds unhealthy. anyway thats my 2 cents.

  ffras123 wrote @


  TopDog wrote @

There is always someone out there just waiting for you ….It will happen for you..Good luck

[…] Do ugly people find love? …attention that I can recall… the only major thing that’s happened … girls, but normal girls who have boys, a lot of boys… One of my… […]

  someone wrote @

im feel exactly like, except that im a guy, not a girl. but my friends do have girlfriend most of the time, and i do crave for meeting new random people, and i cant, because im “shy and not-so-pretty”. and im not looking for a model as well, im just looking for someone to be with, to feel loved and to love.
really, when i read that it just seemed that i was reading my own words.

  someone wrote @

bah, sorry for so many mistakes, i didnt notice…

  Carmen Vj wrote @

Being has nothing to do with finding love. If you have a good heart and a great personality, you can find love. Looks is secondary.

  fusion wrote @

i am sure you will find that special someone someday somewhere don’t feel bad this happens to many people just keep trying don’t ever give up and love will find you when you least expect it if you ever need a good friend i am here for you i can relate to your pain as i was just like you shy and full of low self esteem and lack of confidence one thing that i can tell you is don’t ever be afraid of anything in life i believe we all have a chance at love no matter who you are how good you look or how unattractive you are if you spot that one chance that’s gonna change it all for you don’t be afraid TAKE IT and don’t look back cause you may never have a chance like that again you only live once. Looks aren’t everything in a person its like would you rather live your whole life with one super hot guy that was a complete asshole and did nothing for you but only brought you disappointment or one average looking dude that wasn’t all that great looking but made you feel at peace and made you feel like someone important and loved you for who you where no matter what i think most girls would go for that average guy instead the only girl that would most likely go for a guy like that would be a confused insecure individual that does not really know what she wants in life my conclusion is go out there don’t be afraid explore your choices and you will find that special someone take a bold move. whew if any of you have read this far :O you deserve a medal he he :)

  maggy wrote @

I was simply a late bloomer :) I didn’t date at all in high school, and ended up doing things average people get out if the way in high school in college (first date, first kiss, etc). Now I’m out of college, and I look back and remember how I felt, (pretty much word for word like your post) and it’s funny, because once I experienced a little bit of dating etc, I realized that guys are not a big deal. As you grow you become more confident, self consciousness isn’t some sort of flaw, it’s normal! The more you get to know yourself and how awesome you are, the more people around you can see it too, this includes guys. I remember having this epiphany one evening in college, and it was after having had a chance with this guy that I had crushed on and idealized for the LONGEST time, and then realizing that this guy just wasn’t good enough for ME… I’d never considered that possibility before. I realized that i CAN have any guy I want. And, I’ve since gotten better a figuring out what that was and not wanting idiots! :)
I just stumbled upon your post, and it resonated so closely with how I used to feel that I thought I’d share. Good luck!

  Blarg wrote @

Ugly people don’t find love at all and the ugly ones you see with someone just as ugly either got ugly as time went on or they’re just using each other to feel better and not so alone in life.

  Girl wrote @

you’re a douchebag!

  Anonymous wrote @

Blarg, thank you. Finally, the truth. We all want the world to be a bed of roses where everything just works out. The truth is horrible things (or at least “horrible” to those experiencing them) happen ALL the time. People get sick and die. People lose their jobs and despite their years in school and working hard to acquire their position, lose everything in bad economies. Some “good” people never, ever find “love,” regardless how hard they work for it or whose advice they follow. Enough of the sugar-coated crap. Life doesn’t have to be “fair” or “nice.” We can TRY to make it so, but there are no guarantees–especially if you’re, to put it nice, aesthetically challenged in this looks-are-everything culture. And people who spout platitudes like, “It’s what’s on the inside that matters,” or “looks are secondary,” well if despite being adults they still believe that, there’s nothing to be said to them.

  De wrote @

I could not believe it – It is as if you are stuck in my head and reading from the diary of my heart. I could not agree more with every word. True indeed, as a healthy, heterosexual male, I can appreciate this from a man’s perspective. You have summed up exactly what I deal with on a daily basis. I only the same of the ladies- please stop giving your time, minds, and bodies to guys who do not care about you and start giving the nice guy a chance! We may finish last but at least we finish! Thank you.

  James wrote @

I’m a guy and I understand despite my age 23 I’ve only gone out with a couple of girls. I find the only way it seems to work for me is if I see the person repeatly in a way that neither of us have to entertain the other with no presure and fairly boring active what I mean is. At work, mutual friend hanging out, taking a class are the ways it has worked for me.

  Anonymous wrote @

Ive never had anyone in my life nor i want to i rather be alone i ignore anyone who tries to have a conversation with me i rather be alone

  Craig wrote @

I’m so tired of the crap lines ‘you’ll meet someone eventually..’ im getting to old for eventually, ill i seem to meet are hoes and sluts and no real nice girls anyways…just wanted someoen to talk to but…i look terrible…doesnt matter anymroe these days…

  mjh wrote @

This struck me to the marrow. I’m getting old and tired. 48. Just knowing I can check out anytime keeps me going. But the loneliness is so hard that I’m sure my time will come soon.

Women are a superficial as men. I sit with beautiful women at coffee shops, gatherings, ect. They laugh and tell me what fun we have blah blah. Some are married, some are not. Most complain about what jerks the significant other is and many hint that they are ready to bail on the relationships. Yet, they go home and I hear the same stories again and again. And there is sit with my decaf and soy milk wondering; “Why not give me a try.” But as one said in jest, “You’re not very attractive.” (There are no joke I guess.)

I buy nice clothes. Work out. Eat good, healthy food. I was just born with a bad case of the uglies. Thanks mom and dad.

It’s either looks or money. I have neither. I’m tired of being alone. I have lots of friends, but going home at night to an empty bed makes me cry sometimes – literally.

  Sarah wrote @

no, there’s no real answer for ugly people. It isn’t true that people will love you for who you are. I too am in my 40s and have never had a good, sound, loving relationship. I am not particularly attractive – though slim and fit I am jowly with no chin, small eyes, big nose, and very poor eye sight etc. I *think* I am a nice person, but the only guys I have been with were either not that interested (went off with someone else) or were also ugly! So I think it is not true, and unfortunately some of us get the short straw in life. :-((

  average, like most other women wrote @

Why are you sitting only with “beautiful” women? Why is it only their opinions you care about?

  mimi wrote @

Wow this is basically the story of my uneventful, insipid, highschool life! I am 17- never had a boyfriend, never had a fling…. I live in the middle of nowhere with no where to go for fun!

people say i’m pretty but i definitley don’t believe them. at school i am invisible the only recognition i get is because i am an identical twin.

i’m just so shy… i want someone to get to know me, you know? i want a guy to be sweet to me and try to know me… i don’t want a gorgeous guy just someone who acts mature and intellectual. i should probably wait until college for that…

  IdRatherNotTell wrote @

wow. huh, i dont think ive read sth that i can relate to more!! every sentence is as if i wrote it! im glad u have ur hopes high about”if u r open, love will find u” but unfortunately, i dont even have that!

i have a real low self-esteem, and the thing is that im not THAT ugly.. i mean, i have uglier friends that have had bfs. i have a friend that weights 2 times more than me (no offense, but seriously..) and she had 4-5 bfs!

:( i dont think ill ever meet someone before im 18 or even 20!

  sinisterdilemma wrote @

story of my life. wow, you just resumed everything i have ever thought about love, and my (nonexistent) love life.

im a girl who will start high school after this summer and i honestly dont understand how some girls have bfs all the time, either. i have lots of friends who are NEVER single!! and its not like theyre such beauties, either!

and yes, i also crave to be with someone who just..gets me! i just feel like itll never happen, though. and its not like im waiting for “prince charming” or some gorgeaus guy.. someone who is funny and..basically is nice to me.

i admit i have a low self-esteem but i am not ugly and i have a good personality: i am fun to be around with, i am understanding and all my friends come to me with their problems.. its just that, guys ive met so far are so superficial- they dont give you a chance, they dont even try to get to know you, because youre just not as hot as they would like you to be!

so im done believing this “inner beauty” crap, and i guess ill have to suck it up and accept the fact that ill probably never find someone suitable for me, at least not until college..

-sinister dilemma

  ffras123 wrote @

If you haven’t started high school, you are still very young. I didn’t start dating until I was in 10th grade. For some people it just takes a while.

  Girl wrote @

I know how this feels. I’m 23 now and didn’t date until senior year of college! My first kiss was when I was 21. But I met the guy online. The other guys that I dated, I met at lounges. The guy I met online was decent. The guys at the lounges were sleazebags and didn’t want anything serious. It didn’t work out with any of them in the end. But I never meet anyone in class, at the bookstore, in a store, hanging out with friends, etc., which is the most ideal place in my opinion to meet someone. I’ve never had a long term relationship either. The longest relationship I’ve had is about 3 months! And I don’t think I’m a bad person. My friends tell me that I’m a nice and kind person. I don’t think I’m ugly, but I’m not beautiful either. I’m somewhere in between. I think I can look nice sometimes though if I put makeup on and such. I’m somewhat quiet and sometimes shy as well. But it seems that nice girls finish last too. Guys don’t want to commit to us! I become a little bit envious when my friends constantly have boyfriends, and have guys who like them just like that. Wherever they go, they seem to meet a guy. That was never possible for me. And when I think of the reason, it’s because they are attractive and some of them are nice too (they have the full package), but a few of them treat the guys like dirt, yet still they get the guys. Is it all about beauty? Because if it is, then I think finding someone will be impossible for me. Sometimes not so attractive people find love too. I wonder what it is. Is it their personality, or do they just have something special about them? If it’s the latter, I wonder if I could ever have that special thing about me.

  ffras123 wrote @

You asked if it is all about beauty. As a man, let me give you my opinion. I think for the most part the answer is yes. I think for most men looks is an absolute necessity.

But I have 2 items of good news. FIRST, there may be a very small number of men who don’t care much about looks.

SEDOND, physical beauty IS subjective.
Some men like a tight body, some like a woman with curves, some like legs, some like eyes, some like a certain hair color.

My best friend and I often disagree on women. He likes athletic women with a tight butt. I personally don’t care that much about butts and I don’t care if a woman is a bit overweight. I see lots of women who are about 50-70 pounds overweight who are very sexy to me.

The two physical traits I notice are a woman’s face and breasts. If a woman has a beautiful face though, I don’t care if she is flat chested. The most attractive woman I ever dated was totally flat chested, but she had a gorgeous face and this fantastic thick blond hair (though I usually prefer brunettes myself).

Here’s something you should know about men: They see women differently than women. When a woman looks in the mirror, she focuses on her 1 or 2 flaws. But when a man looks at a woman, he focuses on the 1 or 2 things he likes. So a guy may think you are hot even if you only have 1 or 2 physical traits he likes.

That’s why you see men with women that you consider unattractive. They may have many physical flaws, but they have 1 or 2 physical traits that guys like (for example, the woman may have a terrible body, but she has a great face).

And it’s not that personality doesn’t matter. It does. But looks are a pre-requisite. If we don’t like your looks, you don’t get a first date. But even if we do like your looks, that only gets you so far. The woman we marry will be a woman we find physically attractive and who we like as a person as well.

There may be guys out there who think you are smokin hot, you just haven’t found them yet. Or maybe they are too shy to tell you.

I met a woman recently who said she thought she was plain. She said that she just didn’t inspire passion in men. Well, to me she was an absolute ten.

So the bad news is that men are somewhat shallow and do care about looks a lot. The good news is that different men like different things, and there are likely men out there who find you attractive.

Keep in mind that when I last tried online dating, I had to send out a few dozen e-mails just to get a few responses, so it is normal to get rejected numerous times before you find someone. It’s like job hunting – You wouldn’t send out one job resume and then quit looking just because they turned you down. You have to keep trying and putting yourself out there.

  Ally wrote @

I really wish I could offer you some advice or even give you some consolation, but I’m in the same position. I never dated in High School or College, because let’s face it, no one was ever interested in me. And now I’m 23 and nothing has changed. I am very quiet, introverted and self-conscious, and what makes matters worse is that I am ugly. I have a lot to offer, but so far nobody has seen that and it hurts. Part of me still wants to fall in love and find my soul mate, but I am beginning to realize that just don’t have one. So I don’t know if ugly people can find love, I hope they can, although I couldn’t.

  infinite wrote @

im 16 and going to start 11th grade soon and still havent had my first kiss yet im lonely ugly and very shy my little bro already had his first kiss and my older bro has a girlfriend they always seem happy and havin fun while i always stay home doing the same thing everyday and im sick of it my brothers keep calling me ugly and it hurts people say you’ll find love when you least expect it but im always expecting to meet a girl i guess im to desperate and ugly and dont deserve to love anyone

  Lonely Hearted wrote @

I thought you you were talking about me tht whole time. I feel exactly like that, it kinda shocked me. Guess Im not alone as I’d thought ^.^ Still Sad..

  infinite wrote @

yea it sucks lol

  tammy wrote @

im ugly and my boyfriend loves me,some people can be cruel but im glad i know what there really like inside,you will meet someone and they will be worth waiting for,i wonder what made us think the ideal face was beautifull in the first place .good look.

  Susie wrote @

You wrote exactly how i feel… i find myself closing my eyes sometimes and just going “Imagine if….” but when i open my eyes — I’m still alone

I don’t mind being single NOW but the thoughts of always being alone really does upsets me

I hate being known as the ugly spinster… the single on at family events… no plus 1.. just me, myself and I….

  internally_contracted wrote @

It is all the same for me..I am living with the pain and am destined to do it all my life..I am a 30 years old it’s quite late already..these days, I am living far away from my another country..some times, in fact most of the times life seems just for myself..but there is nothing I can do about it..when I was younger, I have always looked for’s of course not about a gorgeous girl..I looked some one simple who can accept me as I am…every time I had to end up with a “NO”’s true I am ugly and shy and introvert too..there had been incidents when I have been refused with an explicit comment that I’m ugly…and this makes me feel down all the time and these days I have become so conscious about my looks that I tend to avoid people and tend to withdraw myself from all the good things that happen around me. I can hardly live with this humuliation and pain any more..I wish I could die..I cannot make it happen in reality until my parents are alive..I cannot let them die for me..but it has become really hard for me to go on with this pain.. and with the idea that love never gonna happen to me.

  tina wrote @

to internally contracted ,i know how you feel,i dont go outside at all but just to give you hope i saw a guy on this morning programme in the uk and he was born with a deformed face and he met a lovely girl in the gym were he works who loves him just the way he is,i hope this helped a bit take care.

  whatthehelliswrongw/me ?! wrote @

wow, like all the other people up there, i could have written what you wrote. the thing is, girls tell me, “you’re so fricking pretty! i’m so jealous of youhh!” all the time (and not just my friends, other random, popular girls) but guys won’t give me a second glance :'(. im 15 and a sophomore in highschool and i have never been asked out. long, dark, curly hair; big, dark eyes; olive/tan skin; white straight teeth (never had braces); almost-hourglass-shaped-body. but when i look in the mirror all i see are my flaws: random pimples; short torso and long legs; rather big nose; hairy arms && back; flat butt; boy-thin legs, etc. and what i see in the mirror depends on my day. if im having a good day, i my skin seems clearer, torso longer and skinnier, nose smaller, etc. on a bad day, my nose seems 30000x too big for my face, acne AWFUL, flat butt, frizzy hair, fat waist. it drives me nuts. im just SO sick of hearing from other girls that im pretty and guys not noticing me at all! im not a lesbian (no offense to them)! and i just cant understand how the ugliest guy at my school turned me down last year. if im not good enough for HIM, who AM i good enough for??? im a little shy, but not that shy and everyone says im reallyreallyreally nice; i just cant see how guys hate me. so im constantly thinking there’s something seriously, SERIOUSLY wrong with me and my confidence/self-esteem has reached an all-time low (i love that band, but anyway). i just cant stand it any longer. i want to be loved. just a little fling would be a start (but honestly im a deep person and not into flings). i like guys for their personality so why cant guys just like me for who II am? im sick of ppl telling me that “it’s all on the inside” but if thats true why dont they like me? i have an awesome personality! i enjoy sports, music, movies, laughing (but not that stupid giggly stuff), and idk, i just feel like im above all school drama (ive never been in drama at all) and i feel so different from other highschoolers, like, idk! :'(( i view things differently from other ppl! im a democrat, im too nice i guess, im more interested about whats going on with people (forreal, i dont pretend to), and i like to travel, and idk. my God, this is taking over my life. no, it’s actually ruining it and i cant even function and im constantly spazzing out and crying (like now). i am a MESS. at school though i act really confident so NO ONE knows about this thing and im afraid if this problem totally takes over my life ppl will know and guys will be even MORE turned off (if that’s possible). i dont want to hear someone on here tell me that i need to go to a psychologist or counselor or something. i want advice on how to be more…attractive? i cant. this problem is unsolvable and im a failure. im sick of jerks calling me ugly and girls telling me how jealous they are of me. it’s retarded. im a failure. someone P L E A S E give me advice i can USE. please help me D:
~isabella :(

  Anonymous wrote @

For all of you who are not yet 17, just chill. I didn’t get my first date or real kiss until I was 16. It’s actually pretty normal, so don’t sweat it.

  whatthehelliswrongw/me ?! wrote @

im really sorry people, that was so long. i just had to vent. i don’t really have anyone to vent to.

  Anonymous wrote @

It’s ok hon, venting helps

  tammy wrote @

isabella.what a lovely name,you are only 15 give your self a chance,things that seem bad now will seem different in a few years,you havent even grown into yourself yet ,at your age lots of people go throught the awkward stage as i call it,some people can be cruel but if you are a ,nice person someone one day will see that,and as you can see from this website you are not alone in feeling the way you do so please try and not be so hard on yourself,its a pity you have no one to talk too,going to see a counciler might be good for you,my sister is seeing one and she is finding it good,take care,and if you want to vent again do so.

  me2 wrote @

you write so nice and true , i can relate to every word u write.. all the very best n take care..

  tam wrote @

Aww thank you .the same back.

  Dillon wrote @

I really enjoyed your post. People often assume that because you look good, things are better. I am a guy who the world would rate around 9.8 as far as physical attractiveness, so I know what it is like to get all of the attention from the girls. What I’ve realized is that people pay attention to me because how I look, it’s not that they really care, I’m just pleasing to their eyes and senses. We are all shallow to some degree. Would you date guy who looked like a girl and had boobs but had “a nice personality”, and guys would you date a girl who looked like a guy with a beard but who had “a nice personality”. See what I mean? We are all this way to some degree, I wish we weren’t, but we are. No I don’t believe it is fair, but just so you know, just because someone is attractive doesn’t mean they are happy and don’t feel alone. I know what it’s like to feel alone and empty at times, while being what most would call a gorgeous man. End the end it doesn’t matter much though, we all get old, looks and even bubbly personalities fade into dust. I have found something though: The world may love us based on how we look, or how smart we are, or how much money we have, but Jesus loves us just because. He loves us because that is what He does and I know that He will never leave me, even if tomorrow I get in a car wreck and come out looking like freddy krueger. And more and more, how I look means less and less to me, and because of Jesus I’m beginning to see past the surface of other people. We are all looking for the same thing, love, but Jesus is where that love is at, not in anything in this world. I wish you the best and I don’t think romance and marriage are a bad thing at all and I believe that God gives us the desires of our heart. I wish the world wasn’t the way it was, but it is :( But there really is a place after this life where everything will be right. There won’t be the homeless and the rich, the pretty and ugly, the smart and the stupid, there will be people who know the love of God! Take care.

  Onmyown wrote @

Screw you Dillon. I guess according to you i should just drink myself to death or something because “there really is a place after this life where everything will be right” that’s crap nd it doesn’t make this life any better.

  tam wrote @

Dillion, you are so right .Being attractive does not mean you will be happier that come s from within.But it sure does help inter acting with peolple.I am so happy for you that you realise a lot of this life is superfical crap ,you must feel so free .take care. tam

  Steven wrote @

I read many of these posts on here and some I agree with some I don’t. I’m ugly, I have known for a long time. I have gone out on dates and once they meet me in person…. well, its just amusing the excuses they come up with to not have to see me anymore. One woman I dated was actually honest for the most part. She said she wasn’t physically attracted to me. I was like thanks and I couldn’t be upset with her, cause at least she told the truth. I have more respect for her than I do any of the others. On my online dating profile I have on there Im looking for a long term commitment. The last woman I dated told me she was sorry that she didn’t mean to lead me on in thinking there might be something there….. that she was just looking for friendship and nothing serious. So I said, no problem, I understand, but if you would like to go out and do something as just friends, Im up for that. She said she’s booked up for quite a while. I guess that was the best she could come up with so she didn’t have to be honest. I would have prefered the truth. My appearence has scared away so many dates its not even funny. Im 41 and Im ugly, I know that now. So I am trying to adjust to the idea that I will be alone for the rest of my life. If one more person tells me… hey, there is someone out there for you… Im going to go crazy. Im a very nice guy. I dont hurt anybody and I treat people with the utmost respect, even if they dont deserve it. Im not getting any younger. I have so much to offer in a relationship, but there is not one woman in the world who can get past my appearence. I got delt a bad hand since birth and because of it the pain from not getting to love and be loved is sometimes unbearable. Eventually I will stop going out into public period to save everyone the displeasure of having to lay their eyes on me. They say nice guys finish last. In my case… this nice guy wont finish at all.

  ipad 2 free wrote @

GREAT REVIEW! I agree with all your thoughts you said in your post, especially at the middle of your article. Thank you, this info is very valuable as always. Keep up the good work! You’ve got +1 more reader of your blog:) Isabella S.

  Jo wrote @

Hey, just wanted to say I read this and I know the feeling! Of course it’s important for all of us to feel attracted to the other, BUT I don’t know if you have to be “born beautiful”.
People that make an effort to look the best they can are really sexy to me because they look willing to love – even if they aren’t commercially attractive.
I’m a woman, so maybe it’s different, but I really like men who dress nicely and smell good – no matter if they are judged “ugly” or not. I find that willingness really attractive – I have a feeling men do too because I’m not really attractive by world standards, but I know if I make an effort men do find me attractive.
Love the person you are! That in itself draws others to you.
Personally I can’t stand good looking men! They turn me off! I love the ones who try, the funny ones and the warm ones – and those guys aren’t usually looking for models, they want a real partner.
Make the most of what you have and love yourself – that makes someone else feel that you’ll do the same for them. And THAT is attractive!!! Good luck out there xxxx

  dan wrote @

i know this blog is a few years old, but yeah i feel the same exact way. im 29, never dated or had anyone interested in me, im also a twin and he is in the same boat. what ive noticed that women are a lot like men, that appearances do matter, physical first and personality second. ive know ugly guys who are really out going but they are in the same boat im in, so just because you have an out goinig personality doesnt mean a thing. women like guys with a pretty face and a nice looking body which men are the same way, i just dont have a pretty face. personality doesnt help being nice, funny, or intelectual. its seconday. im also a christain, so just because your a christian doesnt mean you never go through a lonelness or emptyness just because you know God is always there, its the thought that you’ll never have anyone here that you’ll have to care for and that they care for you back. AS for all of those who are still in high school WAIT, all the poeple that i know had some sort of relationship in high school arent toghether once shcool ends.

  tam wrote @

i understand what you are saying dan ,it is so stupid that people go for outer beauty so much ,it really is .I know few real ugly people on the inside i mean and they get handed everything in life.I also noticed the falseness of the beauty thing because before i got my braces on i was jeered and not fancied and when i got them off i could see the falseness of people who jeered me all of a sudden fancied me .I was like go away you horror of a person .I have a boyfriend who has loved me when i was not nice looking so there is nice people out there and what about the man who got his face totally burned and his wife loves him and they have a baby now .So you never know ,take care tam.

  Anonymous wrote @

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. All human beings,despite how confident some seem, look for confirmation from other people. Meaning , most of the time people are worried about what others think about them. So stop worrying about what other people think and just be the best you that you can be.

  Monique wrote @

I sort of get what you’re saying. I have a skin disease (non-contagious), but who wants to touch anyone with more welt like areas then skin. I am trying so hard to get rid of it, to no avail. I’m also home-schooled, which means I don’t get to see or speak to anyone. But EVERY time I tried to become close to anyone I was rejected. Take it from someone who has fallen in love and had her heart broken, love sucks.

  Delilah wrote @

DO NOT PANIC! Really. Love is something that just comes naturally. There is no specific age or anything when you find your soul mate. And you do not have to be attractive to find love, I can guarantee you. I’m 11 years old, and probably one of the ugliest girls alive. I feel the same exact way! I feel like no one will ever fall in love with me.
There are many advantages to being unattractive. First off, when someone falls in love with you, you’ll know it’s because of who you are, and not your appearance. Do not turn to plastic surgery!! It’s a huge waste of money, and besides, it is far more beautiful to be who God chose to make you rather than the most glorious creature you could think of.
You’re on the right track, don’t give up! You have the right mindset. Don’t try to rush love, because I’m positive it will come naturally. Don’t be pressured by all those good – looking girls. (Although I am, too.) Oh, and I’m sure you’re gorgeous and you just don’t know it!

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