Revitalization's Weblog

For the curious, questioning, and wandering soul

Archive for August, 2012

Life is the most precious thing we have, it’s the only thing we have

I want the good, I want the great. Each day I am reminded of the fragility of life, this life, my life. I remember, and I sigh, I recall that each breath and each step, is one closer to the last. Life speeds by, so fast, so so quickly. From the beginning, when we are pulled into this world with bright lights, screaming and crying, so new and so different, so foreign. And then we get accustomed, and then we get comfortable, and then we grow attached, we become embedded into our lives. We become people, we become friends, lovers, and family. We become part of something. And as we watch others, elders, leave us each day, it’s a sad moment. Why? Well, because they are leaving this life that they’ve become so attached to, they are letting go of something so precious, most precious. They drift away from the only, ONLY thing they know. That scares me to the core, it shakes me, it is a thought that is overwhelming, overbearing, and all too all-encompassing. That fact, that fate. That, while I’ve watched others leave, I’ve seen others pass, that I will be one of them… one day. It’s like anything in life, right? While I’ve never given birth to a child, I’ve known and seeing hundreds and thousands of people who have. Each and every day, babies are born into this world, but this experience, this human experience is completely foreign to me. Until I personally and solely experience it, it is brand new. And it will be awe-inspiring, and ground-breaking, and amazing. And I cannot wait, because I know it will be new to me, something that I will have done in my life, that is mine, and new only to me. Similarly, death is completely new, foreign, strange, unknown. It’s personal, it’s simply something you go through and cannot, cannot, cannot understand or fathom until it happens. Oh god, it scares me to the core. It feels as if an enormous weight is sitting upon my chest. It makes me powerless, utterly out of control, utterly in the hands of evolution, of my human body, with not a clue. It’s merciless. We are forced to leave all that we know, with nothing, absolutely no promises, no knowledge… Will I remember anything that has happened in this lifetime? Will I be aware of anything at all, of earth, of life, of the universe? It’s surreal really. And it makes all, ALL this seem all too insignificant. Don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe life is the most precious thing we have, hang onto it with all your strength, but it slips from even the strongest. And when it does slip, well what’s the point? What’s the point of all of this? What’s the point of humanity, of living, of loving, of trying to experience all that this earth offers, if it is only going to be lost, forgotten, and swept away? Maybe for a momentary experience, maybe to appease ourselves, maybe to distract, maybe to keep us ignorant, maybe to rationalize, maybe we are simply still searching for answers. All I know is this ignorance is certainly not blissful.