Revitalization's Weblog

For the curious, questioning, and wandering soul

Archive for November, 2013

Fly above

Fly above, among the clouds. Fly above, and look up. At the sun, at the stars, and the vast openness. Fly above, and look down, to the earth, to the cities, to the deserts, to the oceans, to the government, to the societies, to the history, to the cultures, to the past and to the present. 

Advertisements

Hungry, forever-wanting

I’m here and so are you. We are gracing this earth with our presence as I write. What a wonderful thought. To know you are alive, with someone else. How lucky are we to spend our days together, our numbered days, our handful of days. Each like a gem, a precious stone. There are only a few, only some and no more thereafter.

 I hope we witness beautiful things in life. I hope to understand how grand and vast and immense this earth is. I hope to travel and explore, I hope to find unknown and foreign lands and discover new territory in myself. We never stop growing, remember that. We are affected by it all, all the people, all the places, all the events, all of it. Every such small thing affects us, builds our weathered and weary bodies. Our hearts time etched and heavy. Our bones sturdy and strong. Our hands, wrinkled and humble, waiting, wanting. Our eyes, bright and hopeful. I hope to be hopeful, I hope to be curious and hungry, forever-wanting. I want so much for myself, and for you.

I want, I wonder

I’m here, in front of you, asking what I should do. What I should be. How I should act. I’m grown, and I’m aged, I’m wiser that I was. I’m smart and I’m shrewd, I’m astute and aware. But, I’m lost and I’m confused. I’m curious and I’m cautious. I’m asking you. I’m asking you who I should be, how I should be, how I should cope. I think this is how I cope.

I want to be humble. I want to be thoughtful. I want to be graceful and smart.

Remove the cynicism because it taints the beauty of each day, it stains the wonder that surrounds us. Remove the negative and oppressive thoughts. Remove self-doubt and disbelief. Accept and move on. Be honest and move on. Be open and stay humble. Stay you. Be you, but only the best version. Just you. Please, it is ever so important to not get jaded, to not get swayed or tainted or degraded. You must keep your light shining, keep you light away from others, keep your light solely for you. Keep it safe because it is fragile and it is rare and easily stifled, easily lost. It may dim at times and it may blaze, accept that. Do not judge that. Accept yourself with all of yourself. Keep your light alive, stay TRUE to yourself, stay true to who you are and what you stand for. Always stay true and stay shining bright.

?

Life is speeding by, ever-fast, ever-quick. Did you notice?

You want someone who will give you the world. The world and his entire self.

He may not be a 10, or a 9, or an 8. He may be a 7. But, his heart is a 10, his heart is a 15, a 20. You want someone who will give you his heart, his whole heart and everything. You want someone who would do anything for you, for family, for your relationship. You want someone who will give you the world, who will give you his entire self. You want someone who will be there, who is committed to love, to life, to you, to your future children, to your futures together. You want someone who shares your dreams, your vision, someone who sees…. a beautiful life. Someone who is passionate and strong and willing and able. Someone who is dedicated and determined. You want someone unwavering. 

You want someone who will give you the world. The world and his entire self. 

keeping hope alive for love

I saw the grim face and the hopelessness of a life without love, late in age this weekend. Truly a sad reality that I certainly don’t wish upon anyone and that I desperately, desperately wish to avoid. It’s sad really, someone who craves love, wants love, would be a wonderful partner and lover, but cannot simply find the one. Or not so simply. 

It’s heart-wrenching really, because time waits for no one, and those who don’t have the timing down, who don’t have “figure it out” soon enough, may be stuck without love, without marriage, without a family. And here I am, still young, but not that young. I used to be hopeful that some wonderful man would walk into my life, and be drawn to me, to my light and to my being. I used to think love would come, because it had to. It simply had to. 

But the reality of it is, is that I’m starting to lose a little faith, a little hope. I’m starting to see the grim reality so many face. I’m starting to wonder if finding love is extremely close to impossibility. I’m starting to question if there are enough good men in the world, and if I will find one who compliments me, who could love me in the way I need to be loved. I’m starting to ask myself if I’m worthy of that kind of love, that deep and passionate and forever love. And, honestly, I think I am worthy, because I know I can equally give it, completely and utterly give that deep love to someone for the rest of our days. But where is this love? And how impossible is it  to find?

I wonder if I will find love, the kind of love we all dream of. I wonder how long I will need to wait, to be patient, and to be open. I wonder how long I can stand this uncertainty. It’s agonizing, really.

But, let me attempt to instill some hope, in me and perhaps in you.

In life, we truly only have ourselves. Just one human being. And to find someone to compliment every tendency, quality and characteristic that makes you is hard, almost impossible. But, as we journey through our lives, each and every day, I think it’s important to love yourself. To know that you are worthy of the deep love that you crave. To be open, to be hopeful, to never, ever, ever give up on yourself. And to keep trying, to keep on trying because giving up isn’t an option. Simply and completely. You must stand up for you, you must take pride in you, you must know, and I mean really know and believe that you are worth it. You deserve greatness, a great love. You deserve someone that will fulfill you and fill you. Be open, be kind, be patient and be unwavering if the belief, or rather the knowing, that you deserve love. In this fleeting and ever-rapid life that we all lead, as time zooms by us leaving us i a daze, keep your light alive. Don’t get bogged down, don’t get lost in the depressive thoughts, in the what-ifs, in the self-doubt. Never settle for something you know, in your heart, isn’t good enough. You know what you need, you know what’s good enough and what is possible. Because it’s possible, it’s rare and it’s hard and it may almost defeat your spirit, your mind and your entity. But don’t let it defeat you. Push. Push hard for yourself, for the beautiful future that I see in your eyes. 

Stay hopeful, stay open, stay honest, stay confident, stay sturdy. Stay beautiful.

In all, I sincerely believe that there are good people out there, there are good men, family men out there. I sincerely believe it. It’s about putting the best version of yourself out, into the world. The confident and calm, the life-loving and free-spirited version. And once your best version meets his, that’s where love can flourish. 

All we can hope for is that we will avail. 

 

I miss

I miss….. I miss imagination. I miss gazing at the stars at night. I miss wonder.