Revitalization's Weblog

For the curious, questioning, and wandering soul

Archive for cry

Here’s what I deserve

Actually no. It’s not what I deserve. And I don’t think anyone deserves this. I think you’re just lucky… I think you have to be lucky to find love. To find someone compatible. To find someone else who complements you in the best ways. So here’s what I’m hopeful for: 

I hope to find someone wonderful. Someone passionate and kind. Someone family oriented. Someone who works hard, for not just himself, but the both of us. I hope to find someone who is handsome, who has strong arms and strong hands. Someone who can carry the weight of my endless aspirations, hopes and dreams on his shoulders along with his. I want someone who I’m so utterly attracted to. Someone whose outer beauty, while quite beautiful, pales to his inner beauty. I want someone tall, who can see the world a little differently than I can. I want someone loving. I want someone who holds me in his arms. I someone who will play with my hair as I lay my head on his bare chest, listening to his heart, feeling his warmth. I want someone whose touch sparks something in me. Someone that makes me feel giddy, and happy. Someone that fills my life with laughter, and I his. I want someone who will support me and stand by my side. I want someone who will listen, who will let me cry on his shoulder. I want someone who wants to build a life with me, who wants to have babies and start a loving family. I want someone whose hand will fit my hand, and only my hand. I want someone who loves life, who wants to explore and who wants to live freely because we only live once. I want someone I connect with, I mean really connect. I want someone who will fill my heart, my lungs, and my entire being with love.

Deserve? I don’t think any one being deserves love more than the next. But I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful.

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Cry

Sometimes we crave sadness. Sometimes we just need to feel something deep, something raw. Sometimes we want our heartstrings tugged. Sometimes we want to feel hurt, feel sorrow, feel something so strongly that it tells us we truly and deeply care, that we can be so profoundly affected. 

I give in

Sometimes I give into the hopeless thoughts, those negative ones. Those dark and heavy ones. Those thoughts that make you question and wonder. Those thoughts that make you self-doubt and give in. Those thoughts that make you cry and cry.

pour me out

I’m looking for something real. just…

open my eyes. I cry because I can’t

Gasping

Something is gripping me tight! Around my waist and chest

It’s squeezing, pulling, and tightening, stronger and stronger

Trying to fight it off, grabbing and clenching at the collar, trying to pull it off

Its hands wrap around, its slender fingers interlace

It’s unbreathable—I gasp, gasp for air and desperate to wean it off 

Blades cut, I’m free—golden effulgence floods me 

I breathe, deep and pure, my lungs expand

My head is dizzy, and my heart pounds like drums, adrenaline pumps

I’m free

and I cry